in denial about my pants size

Jan 25

Went shopping today and found this lekker† three quarter pants that I wanted to buy.
My brain told me I’d fit into a size 32 waist but my heart wanted me to fit into the size 30 – so I took along both to try on in the changing rooms.
In the changing room, I bravely tried on the size 32 in the changing room. The zip wouldn’t close… I remember thinking about how I knew that I had picked up weight but I was shocked as I didn’t realise it was SO much.

The weight I refer to is the natural healthy looking, growing older kind of picking up weight, the type were people have told you that you looking happy and healthy and at times “you looking good” but being in that cubicle inside the changing rooms, my thoughts were already trying to tell me that I am overweight and ugly and fat!

So I accepted the fact, got dressed again, marched to the rails were I found the pants and grabbed two bigger sizes being 34 and a 36.
The stock was probably just unpacked so I had many sizes to chose from (luckily).

The denial kicked in when I was the changing room for the second time fitting on the size 34 first because I was still trying to understand how the size 32 couldn’t fit.

You should have seen the look on my face when I realised that the 34 also, was not fitting me…
Sadly, I fitted the 36 which was a perfect fit and went out to R with the saddest look on my face and told him about the episode.
If you know me personally, you will know that I am stubborn and hard headed and I was not going to end things like that and I was not going to accept that I am now fitting into a size 36!

So I inquired with the saleslady about the make of the pants.

I was extremely happy to hear that the entire section of clothing with that particular brand label was a small make‡ . She was pointed out the section that had the proper sized clothing also but I was NOT interested in that at all.

The confirmation was the best news ever. Here I was thinking I’m a fatty and a slob but then was reminded that there are other factors out there that makes a whole difference to your thinking.

Lesson: Don’t only believe what your eyes are seeing. Inquire and hear the correct story.

- – -

† lekker (lekk-irr with a rolling r) – Nice, good, great, cool or tasty.

‡ “a small make” - I think (could not find online definition) this is a south african phrase we use to say that the clothing was made a few sizes too small and so this results in you having to take a sizes or two bigger than you normally would – the clothing usually is Made in China. We also use the phrase a big make and this I find only occurs when purchasing shoes and then suddenly my sized 6 feet seem shruncken into a sized 5.

Tags: advice, asking, clothing, denial, fat, fitting, overweight, pants, shock, size